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Where Social Skills Means Building Relationships



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Win Over vs. Win With

In both personal and professional relationships, the question of winning often comes up.  As we navigate each day there is bound to be conflict due to frustration, anxiety, or misunderstandings.  We have to have an awareness of how each of us deals with these issues, and what are the goals we are trying to reach.  Are we trying to “Resolve the issue” or are we “trying to be right” or win?

In the book, 7 habits of highly effective people, James Covey talks about the “Win-Win” principle.  It describes how the best resolution is to have both parties walk away feeling good and a sense of victory.  This principle fosters more efficiency in a work environment, more satisfaction within a relationship, and more personal happiness.  Mr. Covey emphatically argues against the idea that you are considered a stronger individual if you always engage in the win-lose relationship scenarios. 

What kind of relationships do you have?  Do you constantly feel like you have to defend your position?  When the goal is to “win over” rather then to “win with”, Dr. Jessica Higgins eloquently phrased the consequence: “It becomes very difficult to maintain a respectful and considerate stance with one another”.

As you navigate your turbulent life journey, consider using the Win-Win strategy in order to achieve the most happiness and satisfaction as possible.